Are You Talking to Me?

     

"Conversations are the way people think together."  --Debby Irving

     Things are getting pretty scary out there in the real world. The divide between people is growing into a chasm. I think this is partly due to things like Facebook and emails, where we don't actually have to talk to one another, or look one another in the eye as we're saying something. It's easy to fire off a comment with no sense of responsibility. It's easy to like something without putting any thought behind it.
     When did we stop having conversations? When things make us angry, our knee-jerk reaction  is to unfriend or to make some snarky comment instead of actually having a discussion. What happened to respectful disagreement?  We can hear someone out, disagree and still remain friends, or family, or at least civil towards one another.

       Again, please know that I do not mean it is okay to accept hateful behaviors or speech of any kind. But conversation does open us up to the dialogue that is needed to change minds in a way that  anger, or shaming, or ignoring cannot. We must get to the root of our problems or this chasm is not going to be able to be bridged. We need to know the why.
     Just like any scientist dissects a problem, we too need to dissect what is going on with humanity. Because face it, we are all humans who eat, breathe, and sleep the same way. And while we are each unique, our basic needs are the same.  We are all part of the Homo Sapien species. 

Homo sapiens (Latin: "wise man") is the binomial nomenclature (also known as the scientific name) for the only extant human species. Homo is the human genus, which also includes Neanderthals and many other extinct species of hominid; H. sapiens is the only surviving species of the genus Homo. Modern humans are the subspecies Homo sapiens sapiens, which differentiates them from what has been argued to be their direct ancestor, Homo sapiens idaltu. The ingenuity and adaptability of Homo sapiens has led to its becoming the most influential species on the Earth; it is currently deemed of least concern on the Red List of endangered species by the International Union for Conservation of Nature.^[1]

      That's right, each person no matter their genetic make up, or skin color, or sexual orientation is part of the same species. Therefore, if we wish to continue to thrive we need to stop fighting that fact and recognize each other for what we are--unique as individuals--but the same.

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."--Winston Churchill

     And here in lies our second divisive element; when we do communicate it's rather one-sided. It's always easy to be thinking ahead to what your response will be instead of actually listening to what the other person is saying. And to make things more difficult, listening doesn't always just involve our ears, but it calls our brains to decipher what someone is saying and more importantly, to dig deeper in and ask clarifying questions, so we can really understand. 
     What listening does not involve is our mouths. If we are so busy shouting out our own feelings and thoughts (while plugging our ears) how will we ever get to know what another person is saying or feeling.  It's time to take a step back, close our mouths and listen.
     Again, and I don't think that I can emphasize this enough, we are never going to understand eachother if we do not listen and if we do not have genuine, often times difficult, conversations. The time is now.