The Truest Greatness Lies in Being Kind*

Romanticize: to think about or describe something as being better or more attractive or interesting than it really is  (1)

      I recognize what it means to romanticize something. We do it all of the time.  We romanticize our past, forgetting about all of the struggles that we endured to get where we are today. We look at the high points and think to ourselves, "Wow, remember how easy it was then."
     Let me give you a real-life example. I recently switched jobs. I'm struggling to get my brain wrapped around all of the new information that this new position entails. I'm having a difficult time getting settled in as the new gal. Everyone else has worked here together for quite some time and they all seem to know one another and I feel like the outsider. 
     My brain thinks back to my previous job and I remember how I had a lot of friends there and  I enjoyed my work and admittedly, I was pretty good at it. I start to miss that job and I wonder, why did I leave? But then by chance at a meeting, I run in to my old boss. While she wasn't a tyrant, she wasn't exactly sane either. She wanted her tentacles on every thing and she'd throw a fit if she was somehow not part of something she felt she was entitled to be. She would talk about her colleagues and higher-ups to her subordinates (i.e. me) in a way that was completely unprofessional and she caused a lot of drama. A lot of drama. Seeing her made me realize that I wasn't really all that happy at my old job, which is why I decided to look elsewhere. And if I think hard about it, I didn't walk right into that job knowing exactly what to do either. I struggled to learn all of the nuances and it took me a good year before something clicked in my brain and I said, "Oh! I get it!" I also didn't walk in to that job as fast friends with everyone around me. It took awhile to get to know others. I was there 6.5 years. That's a lot of time to get acquainted. 

     A commonly heard phrase is, "romanticize the past."  I think that is what is happening with this whole "Make America Great Again" business. Because I do not believe all conservatives are pig-sucking racists (yes, I know there are plenty out there!) who legitimately want to go back to the 1950's, I'm guessing people have put on their rose-colored glasses. They've donned their "remember when things were simpler" hats. Yes, things were simpler when people didn't (or weren't allowed) to speak up and speak out. (Don't think they weren't doing it behind closed doors--how do you think revolutions get started?). While everyone meekly bit their tongues and people catered to the idea of niceness and politeness, others were being treated unfairly and inequitably. 

Great: notable; remarkable; exceptionally outstanding (2)

     If women were not allowed the same opportunities as men, things weren't "great." If African Americans were segregated, abused, murdered because of the color of their skin, things weren't "great." If only white men were allowed to have control and people of color were relegated to lower paying jobs,  things weren't "great." 
     Fast forward 60 some years and look around. Things aren't great now, but that's because they weren't great in the past and we never fixed them. I understand that we don't all agree on politics, but these are basic rights that all men and women regardless of color, creed, gender, sexual orientation should have--the right to be treated equally, the right to have an even playing field and opportunities, the right to have their voices heard  and their humanity respected. We don't have to like everyone, but our job as human beings is to take care of each other. That is our duty. So when there is this talk of making America great "again" I wonder, when was it great? Of course there have been many  moments of greatness, but if it wasn't "great" for everyone involved it wasn't "great."  If it isn't fair for ALL it is fair for NONE. Remember: 

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."--The Declaration of Independence

*Ellen Wheeler Wilcox
1. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/romanticize
2. http://www.dictionary.com/browse/great

Are You Talking to Me?

     

"Conversations are the way people think together."  --Debby Irving

     Things are getting pretty scary out there in the real world. The divide between people is growing into a chasm. I think this is partly due to things like Facebook and emails, where we don't actually have to talk to one another, or look one another in the eye as we're saying something. It's easy to fire off a comment with no sense of responsibility. It's easy to like something without putting any thought behind it.
     When did we stop having conversations? When things make us angry, our knee-jerk reaction  is to unfriend or to make some snarky comment instead of actually having a discussion. What happened to respectful disagreement?  We can hear someone out, disagree and still remain friends, or family, or at least civil towards one another.

       Again, please know that I do not mean it is okay to accept hateful behaviors or speech of any kind. But conversation does open us up to the dialogue that is needed to change minds in a way that  anger, or shaming, or ignoring cannot. We must get to the root of our problems or this chasm is not going to be able to be bridged. We need to know the why.
     Just like any scientist dissects a problem, we too need to dissect what is going on with humanity. Because face it, we are all humans who eat, breathe, and sleep the same way. And while we are each unique, our basic needs are the same.  We are all part of the Homo Sapien species. 

Homo sapiens (Latin: "wise man") is the binomial nomenclature (also known as the scientific name) for the only extant human species. Homo is the human genus, which also includes Neanderthals and many other extinct species of hominid; H. sapiens is the only surviving species of the genus Homo. Modern humans are the subspecies Homo sapiens sapiens, which differentiates them from what has been argued to be their direct ancestor, Homo sapiens idaltu. The ingenuity and adaptability of Homo sapiens has led to its becoming the most influential species on the Earth; it is currently deemed of least concern on the Red List of endangered species by the International Union for Conservation of Nature.^[1]

      That's right, each person no matter their genetic make up, or skin color, or sexual orientation is part of the same species. Therefore, if we wish to continue to thrive we need to stop fighting that fact and recognize each other for what we are--unique as individuals--but the same.

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."--Winston Churchill

     And here in lies our second divisive element; when we do communicate it's rather one-sided. It's always easy to be thinking ahead to what your response will be instead of actually listening to what the other person is saying. And to make things more difficult, listening doesn't always just involve our ears, but it calls our brains to decipher what someone is saying and more importantly, to dig deeper in and ask clarifying questions, so we can really understand. 
     What listening does not involve is our mouths. If we are so busy shouting out our own feelings and thoughts (while plugging our ears) how will we ever get to know what another person is saying or feeling.  It's time to take a step back, close our mouths and listen.
     Again, and I don't think that I can emphasize this enough, we are never going to understand eachother if we do not listen and if we do not have genuine, often times difficult, conversations. The time is now.

Well, Isn't That the Truth

     Baggage. Why do we hold on to it? Why do we obsess ourselves over things we'd be happier without? Is it habit? Is it masochism?
     By now everyone in the entire world has heard the song, "Let it Go." Many people have made it their motto, but I admit it, it's hard to let go--of grudges, of memories, of things that are troubling me. The theory is that there is only so much room in our brains and we can't recall the old things  if new things have taken seed in their place. So with this new year, I want to replace the things that I tend to dwell on with happier, healthier things. I want to take the negativity and put it out of sight and out of mind. What's done is done, as they say. I'm looking forward to a year of doing my best for others and for myself.
Cheers!